just tell him i said nine months
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
