It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
