all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
