I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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