If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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