is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
