Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
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