i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
