So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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