Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
