We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
