Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
