Too much gin, very little bucket
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
