So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
