my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
