Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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