If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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