Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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