So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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