Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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