Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize