They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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