One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize