Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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