Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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