You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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