I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
