went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Quick, to the slutcave!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Randomize
