do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
