Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.

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  (631): all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight. http://tfl.nu/hryw
  Replies (11) Good night (2446) Bad night (717)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.

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  (406): my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick. http://tfl.nu/ik4i
  Replies (10) Good night (1080) Bad night (1840)
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  (949): View more from California

  if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.

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  (949): if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation. http://tfl.nu/12m7
  Replies (5) Good night (4179) Bad night (577)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.

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  (407): official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer. http://tfl.nu/fxe4
  Replies (31) Good night (597) Bad night (8542)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.

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  (860): So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever. http://tfl.nu/64bh
  Replies (85) Good night (10758) Bad night (2528)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight

  (1-480): View more from Arizona

  Why?

  (480): View more from Arizona

  'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward

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  (480): Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight (1-480): Why? (480): 'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward http://tfl.nu/ohlj
  Replies (8) Good night (1210) Bad night (4757)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".

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  (928): Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex". http://tfl.nu/7v4e
  Replies (56) Good night (30715) Bad night (1652)
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  (707): View more from California

  I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"

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  (707): I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!" http://tfl.nu/i1ig
  Replies (16) Good night (1235) Bad night (4301)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong

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  (704): we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong http://tfl.nu/wuam
  Replies (3) Good night (2398) Bad night (1050)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Did strip banana grams actually happen last night

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  (607): Did strip banana grams actually happen last night http://tfl.nu/pz66
  Replies (4) Good night (1429) Bad night (828)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?

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  (773): by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go? http://tfl.nu/xzhw
  Replies (3) Good night (1078) Bad night (514)
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  (415): View more from California

  my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked

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  (415): my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked http://tfl.nu/w9k0
  Replies (7) Good night (2722) Bad night (548)
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.

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  (551): Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win. http://tfl.nu/l1vw
  Replies (12) Good night (1428) Bad night (446)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!

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  (602): I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?! http://tfl.nu/4u7v
  Replies (9) Good night (574) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.

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  (646): His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex. http://tfl.nu/fp57
  Replies (2) Good night (249) Bad night (514)

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