Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.

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(503): She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true. http://tfl.nu/uoge

Replies (2) Good night (631) Bad night (1602)
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(334): View more from Alabama

Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.

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(334): Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened. http://tfl.nu/9jlv

Replies (16) Good night (4886) Bad night (1193)
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(914): View more from New York

Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.

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(914): Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine. http://tfl.nu/4xx7

Replies (8) Good night (670) Bad night (6774)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.

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(978): watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night. http://tfl.nu/ve5u

Replies (20) Good night (1189) Bad night (4172)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.

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(651): He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb. http://tfl.nu/9exx

Replies (215) Good night (985) Bad night (3733)
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(740): View more from Ohio

Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.

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(740): Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level. http://tfl.nu/r4mw

Replies (21) Good night (4376) Bad night (712)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.

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(617): i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night. http://tfl.nu/15vj

Replies (50) Good night (4968) Bad night (1600)
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(714): View more from California

Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.

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(714): Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover. http://tfl.nu/xecz

Replies (18) Good night (6535) Bad night (979)
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(+31): View more from The Netherlands

bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.

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(+31): bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left. http://tfl.nu/sy8j

Replies (18) Good night (1392) Bad night (6396)
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(705): View more from Ontario

You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.

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(705): You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden. http://tfl.nu/3tyu

Replies (11) Good night (1873) Bad night (1051)
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(916): View more from California

We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench

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(916): We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench http://tfl.nu/ch9j

Replies (3) Good night (1839) Bad night (672)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...

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(215): The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on (267): It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID... http://tfl.nu/2nuu

Replies (9) Good night (3117) Bad night (618)
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(607): View more from New York

Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.

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(607): Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan. http://tfl.nu/ogj8

Replies (0) Good night (856) Bad night (416)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.

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(860): I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time. http://tfl.nu/nvbm

Replies (11) Good night (1051) Bad night (386)
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(613): View more from Ontario

IM WEARING A FLAG

(1-613): View more from Ontario

So that's a no to the clothes then

(613): View more from Ontario

FLAG

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(613): IM WEARING A FLAG (1-613): So that's a no to the clothes then (613): FLAG http://tfl.nu/ee8g

Replies (6) Good night (885) Bad night (303)

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