Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.

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  (847): we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us. http://tfl.nu/woip
  Replies (11) Good night (591) Bad night (1326)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach

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  (509): woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach http://tfl.nu/ylv0
  Replies (20) Good night (1831) Bad night (874)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.

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  (440): Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade. http://tfl.nu/kiie
  Replies (20) Good night (5662) Bad night (1509)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.

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  (970): I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive. http://tfl.nu/p82j
  Replies (4) Good night (2337) Bad night (1458)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.

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  (907): She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone. http://tfl.nu/lil1
  Replies (7) Good night (3719) Bad night (857)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.

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  (215): the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign. http://tfl.nu/j53c
  Replies (7) Good night (3236) Bad night (755)
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  (718): View more from New York

  We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.

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  (718): We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged. http://tfl.nu/etq6
  Replies (7) Good night (2908) Bad night (1461)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?

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  (832): Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones? http://tfl.nu/bhpj
  Replies (7) Good night (2359) Bad night (990)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.

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  (303): I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes. http://tfl.nu/g3e8
  Replies (4) Good night (1113) Bad night (482)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.

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  (608): This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat. http://tfl.nu/hchn
  Replies (2) Good night (1233) Bad night (413)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  We don't really communicate like that.

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Communicate like what?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.

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  (617): We don't really communicate like that. (781): Communicate like what? (617): Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants. http://tfl.nu/kuit
  Replies (3) Good night (1719) Bad night (631)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Wait does semen show up on blood tests?

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  (832): Wait does semen show up on blood tests? http://tfl.nu/pugn
  Replies (25) Good night (577) Bad night (1221)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone

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  (775): Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone http://tfl.nu/zeql
  Replies (7) Good night (399) Bad night (650)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo

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  (914): Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo http://tfl.nu/y87c
  Replies (6) Good night (365) Bad night (648)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"

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  (774): We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole" http://tfl.nu/4a1v
  Replies (2) Good night (654) Bad night (249)

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