dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand