hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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