So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
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