I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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