That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
