Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
