Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
