Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
