he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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