I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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