I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
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Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
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WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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