Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Alive.
So much puke
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
