put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
