Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
