remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
