Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
