I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
