Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
