you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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