apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
