I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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