too bad you live with your parents still
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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