Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
We're too hungover to prance.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
