aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
you had me at cake vodka
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize
