operation harelip BJ is a go
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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