5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
