i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
