let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
