A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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