Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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