so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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