I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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