aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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