My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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